User blog:Paigelena/Tales from the Hair Salon
Few would guess it, but pokemon in this world are much more intelligent than one would think. Just look at Paige Destiny; she's an opera singer and a former rock star. However, our tale does not center around her. It centers around an unassuming Bayleef who works in a salon. Enter the world of Bailey Austin. It is a cool Spring evening in Light City. Bird Pokemon are roosting and ready to rest, the occasional Hoothoot starts hooting and a flock of Altaria begin humming. Bailey is sweeping up the salon where she works, ready to call it a day. Little does she know, she is about to get a very important customer. "Hello. Are you still open?" A voice calls out. It belongs to The Light Queen, who has come to get her elbow length hair styled. "I'm sorry, but we are about to... holy father! It's the holy mother!" Bailey responds. She immediately does the sign of the cross and kneels. "No need to worship me like that. I'm just as equal as you. In fact, I've heard about your skills and I would like my hair styled." "Oh, gosh!" Bailey said. "Sure! Let me just guide you to a seat." The Light Queen sits on a salon chair, but breaks it due to her weight. "Damn... I'm sorry Bailey." "It's all right, Light Queen." Bailey repairs the chair and The Light Queen sits down again. "Please. Call me Queenie." The Light Queen puts a finger to Bailey's lips. "I understand that you keep secrets, right?" She asks. "It's the way of the hair stylist. We hear gossip and keep secrets." "Well, in that case. I want to tell you something about a friend of mine. Her name is Paige." Queenie begins. "Paige... as in Paige Lyra Destiny? You know her?" Bailey asks as she begins to stylize Queenie's hair. "Yes. She is my host. We fuse sometimes to fight evil. Well, listen to this. She is planning to overthrow Dodeca of the Order of Light and take the reins herself!" Bailey gasps. "She can't do that! Isn't that that stupid Vanessa's job?" "No. Her job is to kidnap Teddy Ursa." "One of my rare clients. I understand. My lips are sealed." Bailey promises. "There are more of my friends coming tomorrow. I'll tell them to tell secrets to you. I trust you." Queenie smiles. "I understand. Well, I think we're done." Bailey shows Queenie her new hairstyle. "Sweet! Nice and tomboyish! Thank you Bailey." Queenie pays Bailey $20. "You're welcome. See you again!" Bailey waves goodbye as Queenie leaves. She cleans up and goes home The next morning, Bailey heads to open the salon up when she senses something is a little off. "Huh? This is odd... it feels like someone is waiting..." Bailey nervously enters the salon. About 30 seconds later, Ilia walks in whistling. "Good morning, Miss Bailey." "You know my name?" Bailey seems surprised. "Yes. Queenie told me all about you and your salon." Ilia smiles. "She said that you are great at keeping secrets." "Ah, that's right. She told me one, and I expect you want to tell me one?" "No, that's foolish! I want to know what she told you!" Ilia giggles. "I'm kidding! I will tell you something." Bailey begins to style Ilia's hair to resemble Princess Zelda's. "Go ahead. Tell me." "Well, alright. You know my sister Swarma?" Ilia asks. "Well, I am not actually her full sister. We have different fathers." Bailey facevines herself. "You need to tell her that. I've met her and she thinks that you are full siblings." "I understand. I'll tell you a second thing. I am in love with Angelo..." Ilia says. Bailey's eye twitches and she sighs. "You should tell him your feelings. I expect that he has the same. In fact, I'm gonna tell you his secret. He is very much attracted to you and he told me that he wants to marry you. Don't tell him that I told you." "Oh my gosh! He loves me, I love him. We are perfect for each other!" Ilia blushes, her cheeks go a shade of red that most say is impossible. "There we go, all Zelda'ed up!" Bailey finishes by using a vine to chomp a few loose hairs. "Oh my gosh! That's beautiful! Thank you Bailey! How much do I owe you?" Ilia smiles and gives Bailey $50. "$20. I am fair with my prices." Bailey gives Ilia her change. "See you next time!" Ilia says as she leaves. ---- Just 10 minutes later, Paige herself walks in, minus her robotic suit. It's clear that she is Angelic Paige. "Lady Bailey?" Paige asks. "Paige! Oh my gosh, this is such an honor!" Bailey bows. "Please. I wish to tell you something." Paige sits down on a salon chair. "A secret?" Bailey enquires. "No. A story. A story about my days as a rock star. Nobody at the Order of Light knows about this time in my life and, since you are a fan of mine, I'll tell you and Queenie, who is fused with me." Paige says. "I like my hair platted when I'm not on tour. May you dye my hair purple as well?" "Sure. Go ahead." Bailey gets her equipment ready. "It all begins just after my second major concert... a time where rock was appreciated by the masses. A time where girls like me were equal in the field of music." Paige sets the scene. ---- The younger Paige is walking back to her dressing room. Little does she know, her popularity is about to skyrocket. "Great concert Paige! Do you want some of my coke?" A roadie asks Paige. Paige nods and drinks the bottle. "Hey kid. Catch." Paige tosses her dress to the roadie. "Thanks Lady Paige!" The roadie replies. Paige heads back to her dressing room and immediately facepalms. "Oh Arceus! I just recorded a Coke advert, didn't I?" "You sure did. And you took it a step further by stripping. That footage will be on TV's in a matter of hours!" A coke spokeswoman tells her. "Excuse me." Paige showers and then leaves the stadium where she performed for home. ---- "Hold on... that advert was never shown on TV." Bailey interjects. "I know... as the FCC banned it due to partial nudity on my part. I never wore anything under my dresses." Paige laughs. "I still don't." "Just get back to the story..." Bailey sighs. ---- It is now 3 years later, Paige is now 22 years old. "Phew! I love this lifestyle... but I want to retire." Paige says absentmindedly to herself as she drinks a beer on tour. A journalist overheard her. "Paige is going to retire!?" He immediately runs and calls his editor. "Alexa... I have a huge scoop! Paige DK has told me that she is going to retire!" Paige, meanwhile has left the bar to chill before her next show. The next day, Paige gets a newspaper and screams out loud. "Who the bloody hell told the Lumiose Press that I want to retire!? I'm not retiring! I said it sarcastically!" Paige is raging. "Well, I imagine that someone overheard you and told that sensationalist paper about it." Paige's manager replies. "That's probably it. Thanks for trying to calm me down Peach." Paige gives Peach a kiss. "Ooh Paige! You are such a minx!" Peach replies. ---- "Interrupting again. You had relations with Princess Peach!?" Bailey asks as she begins to dye Paige's hair. "Yep! In fact, here she is now." Paige sighs. Princess Peach walks in, wearing her athletic outfit. "Good morning Paige. I can't stop to talk to you but I just wanted to say hi!" Peach kisses Paige and then leaves. "What. Was. That?" Bailey rubs her eyes to make sure she was not dreaming. "Sorry about that. She always kisses me when she sees me." Paige laughs. "She loves me with all her heart, like a mother to their daughter." ---- "I am indeed. Now, we need to go get breakfast." Paige heads out with Peach to a restaurant called Le Wow. "I know this place... humans have to battle for their food to cool." "Yes, but since I'm royalty, and you are music royalty, we are exempt from battling." Peach guides Paige in, but walks right into a wall of cameras. "Peach... please get rid of them." Paige sighs. It's clear that she hates the attention she gets in the media. "Alright, get out of here! You're making Paige upset. For the good of your souls, I recommend leaving!" Peach sends the journalists packing. The two are guided to their table. "Good morning, madame and madame. May I take your order?" A waiter comes over. Paige and Peach discuss amongst each other. "Ah yes, I would like a 64 Berry stew. Paige here would like a steak. Rare." Peach tells the waiter. "And a bottle of red wine." "Very good, madame. You are certainly lucky that we serve steak and stew all day." The waiter leaves. "Peach... I'm growing tired of being in the public eye. It's all, Paige wants to retire! Paige is eating in this restaurant! Paige accidently strips on stage! They only talk about the negatives of what I do and say! Where do they say about my $2 million dollar donation to the Slateport Homeless Shelter!? Why do they not care about the fact that I am one of the most charitable music artists in the history of this world!?" Paige lets out some steam about her life. "Paige, calm down. It's not your fault that the media focus on highlighting the weaknesses and shortcomings of people. It is a sensationalist world and they try to make sure that they sell papers and/or magazines." Peach gives Paige a kiss to calm her down. It works much better than expected as Paige's eyes droop. "Thank you Peach. You've helped me gain a temporary inner peace." Paige looks very much like somebody who is on drugs, but she is not. "You're welcome Paige, and here we go, our food is here." Peach rubs Paige's head as her stew is placed by her "Oh boy, oh boy! Thank you." Paige gives the waiter a smile as her rare steak is placed by her. The two eat their meals happily with Paige humming the end to Welcome to the Black Parade after she finishes. "That was beautiful, Peach. Thank you for bringing me here." Paige smiles and rubs her bloated belly. "It's not a problem, Paige. Thanks for letting out your anger." Peach pays $99 for the meal and carries the bloated Paige out. ---- "You've told me about your relationship with Princess Peach but can you get to when you had to quit?" Bailey asks politely as she dries the dye on Paige's hair. "That actually happened the next day. Let's transition into it..." Paige smiles. ---- It is the next day, Paige and Peach ended up sleeping together that night after a great off day. Peach is on top of Paige, causing Paige to start flailing about as she can't breathe. "Oh my gosh! I'm sorry Paige!" Peach gets off of Paige and goes for a shower. Paige decides to go and make bacon and eggs for breakfast. As she goes downstairs, she hears something amiss. A window is smashed. "Who's there!?" She grabs a pistol that uses ricin pellets, a deadly type of poison and walks to the kitchen where the glass was smashed. As she enters the kitchen, Paige spots the intruder. A young male is there. "Hold on... who are you?" The male does not respond. Paige takes this as a sign of cockiness and shoots a ricin pellet into the man, killing him instantly. "That felt good! Now to make breakfast." Paige puts the pistol in a hoister on her hip and begins to make bacon and eggs. Just then, a van opposite her Lumiose residence is informed on the murder of the male. "So this Rose has thorns... interesting." A man says. "This is no time for pick-up lines, Snake." The man's older superior tells him. "We need to storm the house and take Paige from Peach." "How exactly, Colonel Campball? She has that ricin pistol." Snake points out, zooming a camera up to Paige's hip where the pistol is. "Easy. She'll have to take the trash out in about 15 minutes after she and Peach eat. That is when we strike." Campball replies. "We need to drop the Metal Gear Solid names. It's very confusing." Snake confirms that they are only using codenames. About 17 minutes later, Paige takes the trash out. "Move move move!" Campball shouts to a field operative who grabs and gags Paige. Paige is thrown into a car boot and driven away. Meanwhile, Peach realizes that Paige is missing and begins an missing persons appeal. ---- "I remember those appeals! I didn't know you were kidnapped!" Bailey shows Paige a poster that she kept. "My gosh... Peach went through so much to try and find me..." Paige wipes a tear from her eye. "She was heartbroken and I clearly remember the reaction of your fans when they heard you were kidnapped. They, as well as I, cried until we were out of tears. I searched the only place I could have guessed you would have been taken to. I knew about Team XY. I had a gal on the inside. Her name... was Stephanie Limar." Bailey remembers. "Limar... I know her! She was the woman who experimented on me! You were friends with her!? Then again... I understand your position. You were using her to spy on Team XY, while she experimented on me. I had a man care for me. He even gave me my fedora hat, which I gave to my daughter Katrina. Man, I miss him so much... he was so sweet." Paige's attitude switches from angry to upset. "There there... come on Paige. You miss him, I understand. However, crying is unlike you. You need to toughen up and withstand it." Bailey rubs Paige's shoulders. ---- It has been 9 hours since Paige's kidnapping. The rock star awakens tied to a chair in a bright white room. "Oh, here we go. Sensory deprivation. The ultimate form of torture." Paige gently sighs as she breaks free of her restraints. "I've got to keep my sanity. This room is most likely soundproofed and full of cameras. I imagine my kidnappers are really enjoying themselves. They know how famous I am and they want to keep me here until my mind rots. Well, that is NOT going to happen! I will keep myself sane until they let me go!" Paige begins to try and keep herself sane by drawing and withdrawing her ricin pistol, which was not taken from her. In the camera room, Stephanie Limar herself is watching this with interest. "She is trying to withstand this torture method. She does not know that nobody has ever been able to deal with this punishment for more than an hour before their mind snaps. Let's see how long Paige lasts." Stephanie laughs evilly to herself. About 2 days later, Paige still hasn't lost her sanity. "Man... I'm getting bored of this. At least I can now... sleep." Paige falls asleep. Stephanie sees this as a sign that the punishment should end. Paige then wakes up upside down over a pool of hungry Carvanha. "My my my... you are awake then. Don't answer me as you can't speak anyway. We removed your vocal cords so that we can see how you can talk. We will put them back in when we finish our experiment. We need you alive and if you escape, you'll fall into the pool of hungry, female Carvanha. Those gals will tear you apart limb by bloody limb. You'll be nothing more than food." Stephanie departs the room. Paige tries to speak but can't. Her vocal cords have indeed been removed completely. She decides to just hang there and not try to escape. Paige hums and uses her Psychic to get a floor plan of the entire building and learns that she is underground in a bunker of some sort. Stephanie takes a look at the vivisectioned vocal cords from Paige. "Interesting... they have a human structure but are perfectly proportioned for a Kirlia. I think she was just genetically superior to other Kirlia and could even be stronger than XY's Gardevoir... with some training. I wonder if we should indoctrinate Paige to our cause." She wonders aloud. "She is famous... and it could lead to her reputation being tarnished. I like her music... so this is very complicated." "Do it." A single voice is heard. "Understood... I'll put the vocal cords back in and then see if she'll join. If not, we will indoctrinate her." Stephanie finishes her study on the cords and goes back to where Paige is dangling. "Paige... I'm going to put your vocal cords back in." Stephanie knocks Paige out with gas. Two hours later, Paige's vocal cords have been reinserted. "Much better... thank you. Is there a catch to it?" Paige has gotten the scent of a trap. "No. All you need to do is pledge allegiance to Team XY." Stephanie nods her head. "Team XY!? Never! I would never join an evil society!" Paige shouts back and slaps Stephanie. "That's enough! You know what I'm gonna do to you now!" Stephanie grabs Paige by her hair and drags her away. "No! You are not going to make me join!" Paige tries to free herself, but Stephanie is too strong. ---- "Yikes... you seriously didn't join them, did you?" Bailey asks. "Well..." Paige sighs. "I tried to resist." ---- Paige is tied to a tiger bench, a brutal torture machine. "Are... are you going to try and break my legs?" Paige knows the tiger bench well. She has seen one in action before. "Yes. If you want to save your legs, then join Team XY!" Stephanie places some small tiles below Paige's feet. Paige is silently refusing to join, causing Stephanie to put more and more tiles below Paige's feet, forcing her legs up into an uncomfortable position. "Hold it. Stop the torture, Lieutenant General Limar." A voice rings out. A man enters the room. There is no mistaking General XY. "General XY! I didn't expect you to be here today. Your inspection of my facility is not until tomorrow!" Stephanie stutters as the removes the files below Paige's feet. "I came because I heard of your capture of Paige DK. You are trying to make her join, am I not correct?" Xy correctly assumes. "Yes. She is trying to make me join." Paige admits with a defeatist tone to her voice. "I see. I would like to extend the offer myself. I will not torture you if you refuse but I would ask again if you do. Paige. Would you like to join Team XY?" Xy offers. Paige decides to think about it for a long period of time. She takes about 2 hours to sift through the pros and cons before coming to her definative answer. "I evaluated all of the pros and cons and I have decided that..." Paige stalls for a few more minutes. "I would like to join." Paige smiles. "I would be pleased to." "Excellent, Paige. Stephanie, may you leave the two of us along for the moment?" Xy asks. Stephanie leaves, muttering curses under her breath. "You will be an excellent member of the group. I shall give you a rank as well. Consider yourself... Major Paige Destiny. Yes, I know what the DK stood for. It was a sneaky little initalization." Xy nods. "I will now take you to the testing lab. We wish to improve the qualities of pokemon alongside our main objectives. You know what they are, do you not?" Xy asks Paige, who is following him. "Yes. World dominated, but with honor. It's a fair way of doing it." Paige nods her head. "Indeed. It's certainly a fair way of doing it. I would watch out for Lieutenant General Limar, though, She is an absolute bitch to those who she doesn't get to torture." Xy gives Paige some fair warning. "You are the first to be tortured who withstood it, though." "Understood, sir. Are we at the labs?" Paige notes a door with a sign next to it stating 'Testing Laboratory'. "Indeed we are. You'll meet a very kind scientist in there. He will be your guide, despite him being a lower rank than you." Xy sends Paige in, then departs. Paige enters the lab and immediately feels quite at ease. She senses the scientist and feels no malice coming from him. "Good afternoon, Major!" The scientist salutes Paige. "Please... no need to salute me when we are one to one. I'll treat you fairly." Paige smiles and smiles. "What is your name?" "My name is Yuri Xon." Yuri replies. "I need run a few tests on you." "You may do so." Paige smiles. ---- "I'm disappointed with you. You chose to join them." Bailey sighs. "I didn't really have a choice. I had to join them." Paige looks at her newly platted hair. "You've done a really good job with my hair!" "You're welcome Paige. I have lost respect for you today... but I'm glad you like your hair." Bailey smiles. "$20, right?" Paige gives Bailey a $20 bill. "Indeed." Bailey smiles and gives Paige a hug. "Next time I come here, I'll tell you about the time in the labs." Paige offers. "No need. I have a proposal. How about I take you to dinner on Friday?" Bailey asks. "It's a date. Meet me by the Order of Light's gate at 7 pm. See you then." Paige gives Bailey a kiss then departs. "She is so beautiful... I'm gonna look forward to the date." Bailey hums as she gets ready to style her next customer. Category:Blog posts Category:Fanfics